Film Review by Kam Williams

Admiral General Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen) is a Middle Eastern megalomaniac who rules the mythical Republic of Wadiya with an iron fist. The ruthless tyrant has been in power since the age of 7, much to the chagrin of his envious, Uncle Tamir (Ben Kingsley), who secretly covets seizing control of the oil-rich kingdom. 

However, Aladeen is well aware that he has any number of enemies who might want him dead, given his anti-Semitic, anti-Western and anti-democratic attitudes. Therefore, he often employs a look-a-like to pose as a militaristic Muslim monarch in public, while he hypocritically pursues the decadent private life of a materialistic playboy, dating pop icons like Megan Fox, Katy Perry and Halle Berry.

But a rude awakening awaits Aladeen in New York City where he is kidnapped by a hit man (John C. Reilly) hired by his uncle and replaced by an impersonator before he has a chance to deliver an address to the United Nations. After escaping, he soon discovers that no one in Manhattan believes that he’s really the Mad Dog of Wadiya.

So, he ironically, he ends up dependent on the charity of Zoey (Anna Faris), a human rights activist who was part of a demonstration protesting his arrival in the Big Apple. The plot thickens when Aladeen is forced to see how the other half lives. The question then arises whether he will finally develop empathy for the common people he so despises.

That is the deliberately-preposterous premise of The Dictator, the latest mockumentary starring the terminally-irreverent Sacha Baron Cohen. To give you an idea of how this flick stacks up against the naughty bad boy’s earlier offerings, it is far funnier than the abysmal Bruno (2009), yet fails to match the incessant hilarity of the brilliant Borat (2006).

Nonetheless, the movie has no shortage of memorable moments, from the opening credits dedication ”In loving memory of Kim Jong-il” clear through the closing credits scene where the patrilineal protagonist asks his pregnant wife whether she’s “having a boy or an abortion.” The picture’s politically-incorrect brand of tomfoolery is typified by the skit in the trailer, where Aladeen shoots his competitors to prevent them from passing him on the track while running a 100 yard-dash.

As long as you’re open-minded enough to stomach shocking displays of ethnic intolerance and ethnic stereotyping like Asians being teased about confusing the letter ‘l’ with the letter ‘r’, Arabs being referred to as sand monkeys, and Jews having urine poured on their heads, you’re apt to get a kick out of this equal-opportunity offender. 

Very Good (3 stars)

Rated R for profanity, violent images, crude humor, ethnic slurs, graphic sexuality and full-frontal male nudity.

Running time: 83 minutes

Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Upon returning, the Prince of Peace granted Bean Soup Times an exclusive interview. Here it is with no hype, just straight Black Jesus.

Did you watch The Passion yet?
No. Been there done that.

You are obviously a black man., but since your teaching transcends race and gender, does it matter what color or gender you are?
My teaching does transcend race and gender, but if it didn’t matter what color I was, then why does Michael Jackson get ridiculed so much? He’s just trying to be like me, but he thinks I’m white. He looks just like a European version of me. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you love blacks. And if it doesn’t matter what color I am then it shouldn’t matter that Jackie Robinson and Halle Berry are black and that Clarence Thomas is made out of chocolate.

Ah, so you and your Father do watch professional sports?
No. But God was there when Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth’s home run record. 

Where you there too?
I intended on coming, but I had a hard time catching a cab.

Do you eat pork?
I used to, until I cast them seven devils into swine. Soon after I turned some water into wine and I couldn’t remember which ones had the devil in them so I just stayed away from them all.

What do you think about Bush’s public affirmation of his faith in you?
Who? 
George W. Bush, the president of the United States. 
I’m don’t know him. But on another note, my mother always taught me to stay out the bushes. ‘Stay away from the thorns Jesus,’ she’s say.
Speaking of thorns, what were you thinking when you were nailed to the cross?
I thought to myself, why don’t my disciples get me down. They were just sitting around crying. Get a ladder or something.

Who’s your favorite actor?
Morgan Freeman. He played My Father pretty well in Bruce Almighty.

Have you had any other strange experiences since your return?
Yes, each time I go to the shopping mall, security guards follow me. They must know who I am and want to keep me safe. 

How have people reacted to you?
Well, I knocked on one lady’s door on the north side and told her I was the Prince of Peace coming to offer her everlasting life. She called the popo and I spent two days in jail.

You used the term popo, meaning police?
Yes, I learned that term hanging out with sinners on the south side. Those people are really marvelous. Some of them will be my best followers one day. 

It’s been a long time, but do you think black people deserve reparations?
Yes, they deserve reparations, but even more importantly, they need Jesus, Black Jesus that is. (smiles)

ROCK SPRINGS, MD--In a legal mishap that Black women's groups are hailing as a much needed wake up call to triflin' negroes everywhere, Willa Mae Harris, 54, of Rock Springs, Maryland married ChaRita Samuels, 22, of Brooklyn, NY. The only problem is that ChaRita was initially married to her son's fiance. 

The ceremony took place July 6 at the Greater True Vine Missionary Episcopal Baptist Church, Inc. in Chicago. The couple joined in holy matrimony after 27-year-old Clarence Harris, whom friends describe as "hood rich proud," put his marriage license in his mother's name. 

"I didn't mean to do it," Harris told the media while fighting back tears. "It was just force of habit. I didn't even think Charita like my mama. I knew she was a freak; that's why I wanted to marry her, but damn ya'll! She married my mama!!" 

When asked why she would do such a thing to her son, Willa Mae Harris stated that "enough was enough. The car payments, house phone, cell phone, pager, insurance, rent, credit cards, and tab at Leon's BBQ I can accept, but he went too far this time. Why on earth would he put his marriage license in my name?! Well, I'm keeping ChaRita. She's mine."

The younder Mrs. Harris agreed. "Since everything is in her name, Willa's the one with the big bank. All I did was cut out the middle man."