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December 2006

Flavor Flav to be first major talent signed to new ‘out of this world’ company

The two most troubled actors in Hollywood seek build a movie studio on Pluto that will be, “out of this world,” said Cruise during a August 31 press conference.

The embattled actors are excited about taking advantage of Pluto’s now cheap property taxes because of its downgrade to dwarf planet status. “The land is cheap,” said Gibson. “We plan to produce more Lethal Weapon sequels with Flavor Flav playing Sergeant Roger Murtaugh the role once played by Danny Glover.”

Though neither man mentioned it outright, both seem to suggest that this move would also give them a chance to cultivate fans other than Earthlings, whom have become bored and tired with their antics. Flavor Flav was not present.

They plan to drive to Pluto next month to start building. Gibson wanted to drive, but Cruise reminded him that he was suicidal. “Anybody who drives around on this earth IS suicidal,” said Gibson.