The planned peace negotiations  have been hampered in recent days  by a group of white women married  to professional football players who  refuse to give up black men. Dubbed  the “White girls with rhythm and  black men” plan to protest the  process.  “This is absurd. We’ve got nothing  to gain and everything to lose,”  said Sarah Blanco. “We will fight  this with everything we’ve got. We’re  going to debut a new dance on Soul  Train next month called the Sue I  Cide Bomb. This is war.” 

Blanco also discussed a possible  coalition with White Women with  Big Butts. “We think this type of

unity would really prove vital to victory.  Some of them are already in our  group.”  The black woman’s groups are  confident they will be victorious.  “Nobody can love a black man like a  black woman. Besides, it ain’t too  many white girls that effectively deal  with a black man’s mother. We are  even willing to let them keep many of  the men they have, especially O.J.  Simpson, Clarence Thomas and  Cuba Gooding Jr. 

White men are anxious and confused. They do want white women to  swear off black men and cautiously seek an alliance with black women,  but are terrified at the idea that their mates will humiliate them on the dance floor. “It’s a dangerous slope. Once Becky learns how to shake what her mother gave her, she will only be more appealing to Black men,” said Paul Stout. 

“If this happens, white men will have to learn to dance. We’re hoping to get MC Hammer as a consultant. The only white men this deal won’t affect is John Travoltra and Justin Timberlake.” The agreement also has an unintended backlash that could provide black women access to black male athletes in record number.