by Daniel Perlman

PHOENIX—An unidentified man with a loaded gun at a Presidential town-hall meeting is making some reasonable points, according to petrified citizens in the crowd. 

“He’s making sensible comments about the intricacies of a single-payer system,” said Phoenix resident Mike Allen, adding that he initially disagreed with the man’s opposition to health-care reform until he saw the man’s loaded AR-15.

“Then I got the idea,” Allen added, nervously looking over his shoulder.

The man with the strapped semi-automatic rifle is clearly the star of the events. He has made all but five comments throughout the 90-minute meeting, inquiring about socialism, the Constitution, and “Who wants to mess?”Those in favor of health-care reform—including President Obama—have followed their vocal support by glancing in the man’s direction and saying the phrase, “But I could be wrong here.”

Few have questioned whether it’s appropriate to bring a loaded weapon to such a meeting.

“He can bring a thousand guns. That’s his Second Amendment right,” said Phoenix police officer Ron Lopate. “It’s a great country.”

President Obama and Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. met with Henry Louis Gates Jr. and the police officer who arrested him, Sgt. James Crowley, at the White House on Thursday. Stephen Crowley/The New York Times

WHITE HOUSE--Feeling a real sense of power, and apparently channeling the spirit of Al Pacino from Dog Day Afternoon, Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr dared Sgt. James Crowley to arrest him now while they drank beer at the White House with Brother President Barack Obama. 

The meeting started off very civilized. After the first beer, the men agreed to disagree, but after the eight beer, things got a little testy when Sgt. Crowley joking said, "Remember, I know where you live."

Gates did not appreciate the humor. "Arrest me now, chump," Prof. Gates said during the fourth beer. "Put your gun down. Why you got your gun out? Attica, Attica, Attica!!"

Pres. Obama remained calm during the exchange. "Henry, you know his weak ass ain't gonna do ^%$#."

VP Joe Biden, who nervously shook and threw beer nuts in his mouth, remained quiet during the heated exchange. 

After the meeting, in a press conference, Sgt. Crowley gave a word of inspiration to police officers nationwide. "Only in a country where we could elect the first Black president can a white police officer be rewarded for racial profiling with a beer from the president...on the White House lawn."