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George Bush hopes to get exit strategy plan from 16-year-old who spent two days in Iraq and left

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...January 10, 2005

Several army officials said they want that same deal

George Bush visited the 16-year-old Florida boy who created national news with his trip to Iraq.

Bush recognized that the boy, Farris Hassan of Fort Lauderdale, Fla. told faced daily dangers during his journalistic quest in Iraq, but “managed to finally get out after 48 hours,” said Bush. “I hope my brother Jeb gets to meet him too.”

"I came close on several occasions to being kidnapped and dying," he said in the interview aired Monday. "God must have been with me the entire way."

The high school junior bought a ticket to the Middle East with his own money Dec. 11. He spent 10 days with family friends in Beirut then flew into Baghdad where he said he witnessed 22 explosions on his first day.

"I spent Christmas night with the soldiers down at my hotel, guarding the hotel," he said. "I heard a helicopter crash. The whole ground shook and vibrating, it was a big explosion.”

“Then you just left?,” said Bush. “That’s all we have to do huh? Just leave.”

"It would be easier for you because you have Air Force One," said the boy.

Hundreds of civilians said they would like to sign up for that same plan. “Two days and leave. I’m down with that.” 

Fake KFC chicken flesh keeps consumers safe from bird flu

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...January 5, 2005

KENTUCKY—KFC executives eased fears yesterday as it announced the impossibility of consumers getting bird flu from eating their chickens.

“Bird flu is an infection caused by viruses that occur naturally among birds,” said KFC executive Thomas Dehoit from the steps of KFC’s white columned mansion headquarters in Louisville.

“There is no need to fear KFC because our chickens are fake, thus it’s impossible for them to become infected. Something unnatural, such as a fake chicken, can’t get a virus that only occurs naturally. That’s why we changed the name Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC. We wanted to remove any references to chicken.”

KFC assured consumers that they can still enjoy the same great taste of Original Recipe® chicken with its unique, mouth-watering, still-secret blend of 11 herbs and spices, as well as Extra Crispy™ chicken.

KFC consumer nationwide let out a sigh of relief. Despite consumer fears, Sandra has never been the least bit concerned. “I’m so happy to learn that it’s not real chicken because I eat enough fried chicken to have my own million chicken march,” said Sandra Williamson. “I thank God every day for Col. Harland Sanders, the man who perfected that finger licking good recipe,”

There are nearly 13,300 KFC restaurants worldwide and Sandra has been to more than half of them. “I trust the colonel with my life,” she added. “But I do wonder, just out of curiosity, what type of substance is that fake chicken?”

The public may never know because that secret is as widely guarded as the original hand-written recipe developed by the colonel more than 50 years ago. “I can’t reveal it, but let’s just say that gibbon monkeys don’t get bird flu,” said Dehoit.

But Dehoit became noticeably nervous when asked by this star reporter from Bean Soup Times, about the possibility of a fake bird flu virus infecting their fake chickens. “We’ve never considered a fake virus,” said Dehoit. “That would be a disaster.”