KENTUCKY—KFC executives eased fears yesterday as it announced the impossibility of consumers getting bird flu from eating their chickens.
“Bird flu is an infection caused by viruses that occur naturally among birds,” said KFC executive Thomas Dehoit from the steps of KFC’s white columned mansion headquarters in Louisville.
“There is no need to fear KFC because our chickens are fake, thus it’s impossible for them to become infected. Something unnatural, such as a fake chicken, can’t get a virus that only occurs naturally. That’s why we changed the name Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC. We wanted to remove any references to chicken.”
KFC assured consumers that they can still enjoy the same great taste of Original Recipe® chicken with its unique, mouth-watering, still-secret blend of 11 herbs and spices, as well as Extra Crispy™ chicken.
KFC consumer nationwide let out a sigh of relief. Despite consumer fears, Sandra has never been the least bit concerned. “I’m so happy to learn that it’s not real chicken because I eat enough fried chicken to have my own million chicken march,” said Sandra Williamson. “I thank God every day for Col. Harland Sanders, the man who perfected that finger licking good recipe,”
There are nearly 13,300 KFC restaurants worldwide and Sandra has been to more than half of them. “I trust the colonel with my life,” she added. “But I do wonder, just out of curiosity, what type of substance is that fake chicken?”
The public may never know because that secret is as widely guarded as the original hand-written recipe developed by the colonel more than 50 years ago. “I can’t reveal it, but let’s just say that gibbon monkeys don’t get bird flu,” said Dehoit.
But Dehoit became noticeably nervous when asked by this star reporter from Bean Soup Times, about the possibility of a fake bird flu virus infecting their fake chickens. “We’ve never considered a fake virus,” said Dehoit. “That would be a disaster.”
I understand the relationship pain that Black women face, but I just do not believe that we need more movies focused on the negative. Let's accentuate the positive. That's why I found the humor in the post by Wayne Brady. This video is For Colored Girls and For Stuffed Colored Girls too.