During the 1960s, right here from my Bronzeville location, I gave away free food to demonstrators engaged in the civil rights movement. I did not do it for recognition. I did it because it was the right thing to do. I mean, why shouldn’t a Black man be free to go to the same toilet as a white man.

But as a businessman I’ll be damned if all the negroes who patronized me ran to use the white man’s stuff as soon as they got a chance. Now I’m about to go broke!

Now don’t get me wrong. Ever since Jim Crow laws were lifted, I’ve met some great gentleman in America’s washrooms...that ain’t counting the countless nasty scoundrels who, after relieving themselves, avoided using the sink like it was the plague. I mean, overall, it has been good. I get’s thirsty, I drink wherever I feel like it and I don’t have to go to the alley to order me a burger. But that ain’t the point. I’m a businessman.

Since white folks let black folks into their stores, I ain’t sold one damn thing! I used to sell ice and sugar and negroes say, “The white man’s ice is colder, his sugar sweeter.” Last time I sold sugar, George Foreman had a head full of hair and Vernon Jordan criticized the government. I don’t know what to do. I figure best I can do is throw some white make up on my face, draw a paper thin smile on my face and pretend I is white. I bet you negroes will be lining up to buy my ice and sugar.

Or maybe I’ll start a petition: Sign here for a limited return to segregation.” This will be an economic jim crow, not a full and complete jim crow. The law will be that no black person can buy from a white person if a black person has the same or an equivalent product. Negroes won’t need Playstation or Gameboy when they can get Atari’s Ping Pong and a hand held Space Invaders from me. Oh, and I got a deal on some never used typewriters.

Alvin G. Archibald, owner
Archie’s 43rd Street Variety Store
Bronzeville, Chicago, IL