ATLANTA--After experiencing food poisoning, Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas was rushed late last night to the emergency room of Grady Memorial Hospital, where an African American medical student accused Mr. Thomas of "being made of chocolate."

"I know it sounds crazy, but imagine how I felt when I saw that his blood was not red, but dookie brown," said Sharon Hall, a medical student from the Morehouse School of Medicine. Mr. Thomas was unconscious when an unsupervised Ms. Hall entered the room to check on his I.V.

"The smell was obvious. I said, 'hell no', this cannot be chocolate milk, but I tasted it. It was rich and creamy. And very chocolately!" she added.

Without thinking, the student--who admittedly has a weakness for chocolate—took a bite of Mr. Thomas’s finger. “It was chocolate all the way through! I had to get out of there before I ate him all up!”

Calls to Mr. Thomas, the Pentagon and White House went unanswered by BEAN SOUP press time.