SEATTLE--In a startling confession, Starbuck franchise executives admitted why they do not market in African American communities.

“Despite our deepest desires to market within the African American community, our research results stated that most Blacks polled believed that ‘coffee makes you black,’ and therefore would not patronize a coffee house frequently because they fear getting any blacker than they already were,” said Starbucks spokesperson Jeff Hamburger. “What’s even more disheartening is that--because of Starbuck’s bitter taste--most Blacks thought it was twice as potent as other brands.”

A spokesperson for Magic Johnson, who has opened several Starbuck’s in African American communities, disputed the claim. “There is no scientific proof that drinking any amount of coffee will make you blacker than God already made you,” said Brad Reynolds. “Magic Johnson would never have began opening stores within the black community if that was the case. Our research proves that the only thing that will make you black is eating lots and lots of chocolate…just like Clarence Thomas did.”

Former Black Panther turned Bar B Cue sauce maker Bobby Seale said the revelation has given him new hope. In an exclusive "Bean Soup Times" interview, Mr. Seale admitted that his sauce was a failed attempt at this very thing. He desired to turn white folks black, but people became only “high yellow” instead of black. “It was frustrating he said. Most of those whites moved to New Orleans, learned a few French terms and passed for Creole. I always dreamed of bringing people together...one shade at a time.”

Mr. Seale is going to invest in Starbucks franchises, he said.

Despite the debate, many have accepted the report as truth. Whites, desiring a more natural tan, are now drinking twice as much coffee than before the rumor spread.

Also believing the report, members of the White Knights of the KKK stated they would target Starbucks in rural and suburban areas to prevent such a terrible thing from happening to rednecks everywhere.