WASHINGTON – Shocking revelations have been found to support the “Birthers”—the group that questions whether President Obama was born in the U.S.—as it has been confirmed that, not just Obama, but nearly all of our nation’s Presidents were born in Kenya.

According to a Bean Soup Times investigation, at least 40 of our 44 Presidents were born from the same small Kenyan village. This information is based on the fact that we have not seen the original birth certificate of Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and many others. It is therefore safe to conclude that, like Obama, they are Kenyan.

“This would explain why Reagan wore those Maasai dresses in the Oval Office,” said presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin.

“I just assumed he was gay,” she added, shaking her head in shock.

This research solves many presidential mysteries, including why Gerald Ford only spoke Swahili and the reason FDR always wished to be able to run a marathon.

This information should change our view of history, as distinctly American traits like JFK’s good looks and Lincoln’s good beard are now known to have existed thanks to the same Kenyan midwife.

Other Kenyan-American presidents include James Madison and George W. Bush.

“Aw, come on,” said Al Gore, when informed that his former rival George W. Bush was Kenyan. “I was just getting over that one.”

“That’s coming up in therapy next week,” mumbled a sad Gore.

The Kenyan village, which has been churning out U.S. leaders since the 18^th century, has confirmed the presidential births. The village spokesman, however, fiercely denied a rumor that Richard Nixon was also an African native.

“That one was all yours,” the spokesman said.

A New York-native, Daniel Perlman is a comic, writer, and college student. He writes regularly for Punchline Magazine. You can contact him at DanJPerl89@yahoo.com.