by Jeremiah Ento

Bean Soup War Correspondent

WASHINGTON, D.C.-In responsethat the U.S. military underestimatedtheir intervention into Iraq,sources close to the White Housesaid President Bush may use a longheld secret weapon in the highlyanticipated campaign in Baghdad.

According to the Pentagon source, who asked to remain anonymous,if the marines are unable toneutralize Iraq opposition, the President has ordered troops torelease a secret weapon, called“Operation Negro” upon unsuspectingsoldiers and wayward civilians.The plan calls for millions of photographsof actor Jimmy Walker to bedropped on the city of five millionpeople. In addition, B-2 bombers,equipped with giant speakers, will blast snippets of Chris Rock's voice throughout the city.

If all else fails,former R&B trio Bell, Biv Devoe, will be flown in for a 24-hour nonstopconcert featuring their greatest hits.“Who can stand to look at Jimmy Walker and listen to Chris Rock foran extended period of time” thesource said. "When those Iraqis get alook at what we’ve got planned, trustme, they will be running out of Baghdad faster than Marion Jonesand Carl Lewis put together.”A White House spokesmandenied that the plan existed but toldthis reporter if the President didchoose to use those “particularoptions, so what? He's the president. He can do whatever he wants.”

There was no comment from Walker, Rock or members of Bell Biv Devoe. However, a fan of the triobased in East Orange, New Jersey,said she had walked past a studioone night and heard the grouppracticing an Arabic version of “Poison,” and knew someone in theband who had recently obtain apassport.

“Yeah Ronny, Ricky and Mikeare up to something,” said KeishaMonique Lewis, a fan of the group,a New Edition spin off. “I got alltheir records and I never knewthem to be singing in no foreignlanguage. If they do go to war, Ihope they win—'cause Ronny iscute.”